it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
