sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
