hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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