How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
