why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
