You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
