redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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