it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
