OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
