Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
