so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
