White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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