i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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