the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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