new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
