I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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