Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
