I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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