The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
