Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
