it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
