I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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