i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
