At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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