Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
