Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
