meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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