My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
