For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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