Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
