i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
