THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
