you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
