Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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