so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
