Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
