Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
