You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
