so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize