i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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