please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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