I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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