I wannas sexs uuuuu
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
