Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
