I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
