Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my poor anus
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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