I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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