she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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