I wanna bring you to show and tell
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
