He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
