it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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