OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
