I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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