you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize