Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
