Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
