Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
