I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
