Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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