And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
