I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
