Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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