Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
