i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
