just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize