Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
