Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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