I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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