The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
