I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
