Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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