she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
