They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The ass gains better be worth it
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