I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
