hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
